Doc.u.menting

Today's my third anniversary and I'm feeling appropriately reflective (and grateful). This past year, since moving to the South, the birthplace of my darling, I've become increasingly introspective. Our move and the subsequent emotional, financial and marital stress overwhelmed me in a way I haven't been overwhelmed in my adult life. I began to doubt my resilience and ability and path in life. During this dark period, however, I began to notice the small things, the beauty in creation. This lead to an obsession with capturing these glimpses of the divine, in photography and in words.

This weekend one of my college roomates visited and we had a riotous time; driving, eating, laughing. We ruminated on the goodness, the comfort of our company, on simply being with someone who didn't require explanations, who didn't question our self-definitions. On Sunday we met another of the roomates for pizza and we spilled out the things I've tried desperately to hold on to. The quiet desperation, the fear that this is it.
I've called it my quarter-life crisis and have reassured myself that it is good to be questioning and digging and really trying to figure it all out now, before responsibilities and routine settle around me. Talking with L confirmed this and bolstered me.

With all this swirling in sub-consicous, I stumbled upon Doc.u.menting, another 20-something that so clearly verbalizes our struggle. It's with glee that I find that I'm not the only one trying to avoid that mid-life crisis by waiting to make a "career" until I figure myself out, and that I'm not alone in documenting the minutiae of my life as it is: imperfect, confused, searching.
As Mae Jane says:

Our quarter-life crisis stems around the fact that we want to become our REAL selves, but are trapped by obstacles and ground-shaking issues that the outside world imposes on us. We're just not sure, we're not ready to settle down yet, and we want to live a little more before we miss the chance-- before we become like the other sad saps that "should of could of would of" in life.

This "living a little" means something a little more...sedate for me than for most 20-somethings, I think. I'm not partying, sewing wild oats or meeting crazy new people (although I'm open to that!). Instead I need to live richly, fully, expressively: exploring the small beauties, stretching my creativity, figuring out relationships, asking the hard questions of myself.
The first up: what am I doing?