A little more

I've been thinking about why I like that quote from Alicia below and it all really jelled while in the car listening to these lyrics by Death Cab for Cutie
I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new

Cause in my head there’s a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they’re far more suited than here


This song is full of imagery I love, but what is so relevant for me right now: the concept of soul (or mind) versus body (the physical world). What struck me today (for the first time) is that the song's versus mimic this dichotomy...The writer wants to find the balance and describes the joys of the physical (feeling sun and water) because he's been living in his head, with his thoughts.
This conundrum has been on the fringes of my thoughts ever since reading With Roots in Heaven...the idea of joining (or folding up, as Alicia said) the disparate parts of my life: my childhood (full of visceral joys and pains) with my adulthood (full of thoughts, questions, dreams, spiritual/mental/self-searching); the things I enjoy most in life are divided between the physical work of my hands (knitting, spinning) and the mental acrobatics (writing, reading, studying, learning).
Usually this dichotomy is manageable but lately I've been drowning it. The epicenter is this one huge question: What do I really want to do? I studied French, dreaming of being a professor (mind) but after 2 years of running (in the stead of the owner) a pottery studio (body), I was smitten with owning my own business. So now...now...I either need to go back to school to be a prof and live in the world of thoughts and ideas or I need to commit to the business idea and even a creative business is firmly rooted in the physical world (profit, loss, customers).
I've been living in this awkward, painful place of the unknown, of the in-between...reading, studying, thinking, planning, selling handspun, handpainted yarn in an art studio...and sometimes it's just so overwhelming, to go to work 8-5 and come home and dye and spin yarn and knit and still have time to read the books I want to read, the study the subjects I want to learn more about. I struggle under the weight of my own expectations (this much yarn in shop, this much good work at the real job, this due date, etc). Although I sometimes fear I'll be crushed...I really belive it's worth it, to try to balance the two, to fold up my life into something I understand, to live where soul meets body.